Christmas is a beautiful season meant to inspire and render ourselves humbly unto God and His omnipotence and love for us. Our culture has celebrated by exchanging presents like the Magi did so long ago. Offering gifts of themselves to a God-man who was inexplicable, but mystifying us with so strong a power of love that we must love and serve Him when we come to know Him. Christmas is a season that is so overwhelming to us when we truly understand, we give everything that we think is our own personality, but realize that we are giving back to God what we were created to be. Then retailers visualized sugar plums dancing in their heads and found a way to capitalize.
For good or bad, we give gifts. We buy or create material items that are meant to make another person happy. In theory, it’s all about charity and thoughtfulness. In reality, sometimes it can cause drama, hurt feelings and so much stress. Everyone wants to give the perfect gift and many of us stress over whether she will like it or return it. Some stress over whether their gift is better than another’s. Others find that their children are not ever satisfied with enough. I have been through this for so many years. My husband hates gifts. In reality, he hates spending money and he just does not get satisfaction out of stuff, so anything I get him is usually not appreciated as much as I think it should be. When my children were little, I stressed about whether Santa’s presents were going to be better than Grandma’s. Santa’s gifts were supposed to be the apex of Christmas gifts, right? But if Santa had to buy big gifts and little gifts and more gifts than Grandma on a much smaller budget, guess whose gifts were usually “better”?
I usually ended up in a pile of tears after Christmas. Not because my children were rude or unhappy about their gifts, but because I thought my gifts never measured up. I thought our traditions were nonexistent and that extended family was treated as more important than our immediate family and I was always upset about something. I worked so hard to prepare and just felt a gargantuan let down. I never decorated enough, I never baked enough cookies, I never took them to enought Christmas events. I was always disappointed with what I did not do with them. I am always ready to go back to the drawing board the next week and figure out what to change to be able to make next Christmas run smoothly. I have figured out a few things, but it is definitely not how to do more!
About 12 years ago, I read a magazine article (I miss magazines) suggesting that we find the real meaning in gift giving. The Magi gave three very meaningful gifts. Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. These were not gifts that reflected the Magi, the gift givers, these were gifts that reflected Jesus, the son of God, the Gift Giver. Yes, the kings were rich and came from lands that maybe specialized in these specific treasures, but they had significance beyond even their own understanding. Gold expressed the kingship of Christ. He was worthy beyond earthly measure, but the Magi brought a physical item that was valuable, enjoyable and beautiful. Frankincesnce embodied the Holy Spirit that encompasses everyone in His presence. The fragrance of prayer and worship floating skyward to the Lord is a tangible reminder of our need for His Peace. Myrrh is a sweet smelling fragrant oil exemplifying the need to preserve our bodies here on earth. Nothing was so precious and the body of Christ and as He gave us ours on our birth, we must treasure it in life and in death.
I came across the idea of only three gifts when I had only a few small children, and coming from a family that loved to give lots of big and little gifts, I was appalled that my children would only receive three. THREE! Christmas would be over in 10 minutes and they would surely be diappointed that they basically got nothing! But alas, after a few more kids and alllllllll the presents they were receiving, I eventually came around to the idea that less is more. I have shopped on a very tight budget and a budget with a little more elastic, but it has always been challenging to meet everyone’s personality within three presents. This article, however, not only suggested three presents, but three themed presents based on the gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.
Gold is a valuable present. This present will reflect the joy that will be on the child’s face when she opens it up and wants to play with it or use it right away. It does not need to be expensive; however, the older they get the more technological, a.k.a. expensive they become, but if your budget has a little wiggle room, this is where I will splurge. It is the fun thing, the superfluous thing, the gift they would never ask for or buy for themselves, but just brings joy and reinforces the value that they give you just by being themselves. Because our children are valuable to us, we want to express that through a gift that goes that extra mile.
Frankincense reminds us of God, the heavens, the reason for our existence and the need we have to draw our own senses toward the divine constantly. This one can be fun, but it can also bring us to think only about books. Books are helpful, and if you have a reader who cannot get enough, then you have it easy. Since the internet marketplace is so vast, just about anything your child wants can have a religious twist. Earrings, blankets, hoodies, journals, stickers, crafts, stuffed animals, activity books, socks. You name it, they can make it Catholic. It is so fun to find all the snarky t-shirts from St. Anthony exhorting – Don’t Be a Loser to your neighborhood female Knight demanding you Joan Up!
Myrrh is used for purification, healing, annointing, and embalming. It is a fragrant, luxurious resin added to oil that protects and soothes the body. This gift may be the most practical of them all. But again, it could be something pretty pricey and quite the splurge like those Chuck Taylors they are working so hard to afford. It could also be something very practical like a hat and gloves or clothes you think will look so dapper. Or cool. Or fetch. Self-care is a trendy term these days and some may deem it arrogant, but when it is given as a gift to let someone know how you value their physical being on this earth, it brings on a whole new transcendental meaning.
I used to feel constrained to these three gifts, and I do use their stockings for some extra little items. Also, now, the siblings like to give each other gifts, and so a fourth gift is carefully planned and given. I used to think that all the presents would be opened so quickly and with so few gifts, the festivities would be over in an instant, but now that we have established a tradition of slowly opening and appreciating each gift, moving around the house and even searching for a Santa present, we are usually still opening gifts around noon. I used to feel that we would overlook our own Christmas so much because we were so busy traveling to other homes, but now we are fully engrained in celebrating as a family unit and all appreciating the care and effort that each one took to truly value each other at Christmastime.
I am not convinced that the Magi realized the foreshadowing and the symbolism in their gifts. I do know that they understood the gravity of the meaning to be in the presence of the Christ. They carefully thought what would be appropriate, needed, appreciated and worthy of a King who would come to show us how to live, trust and sacrifice for us all. May the Peace of Christ live ever in your hearts now, in this Advent season, throughout Christmas time and forever.
Complex Simplicity 